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4月26日
By Stuart Bak, guest blogger and MSN TV columnist
Once again, the cream of the British television industry (and host Graham Norton) are gathering for the annual telly Baftas at London's Royal Festival Hall. Taking a well-earned break from blitzing zombies in Resident Evil 5, I, Stuart Bak, will be your guide to all of this evening's winners, losers, and wardrobe malfunctions. Will BBC Four drama Hancock and Joan do the hat-trick? Can June Brown scoop best actress gong for the brilliant kitchen sink drama of her Enders one-hander? And will The Apprentice right the ludicrous wrong of being beaten by Top Gear in 2008's National Television Awards? Join me here live at 8pm to find out...
8.00
And we're off... Hang on... Harry Enfield has been nominated for a Bafta? Is this the Bafta Television Awards 2009, or the Bafta Television Awards 1986?
8.04
Graham Norton cracks a few jokes. A single tumbleweed bounces past June Brown's feet. He's nothing if not reliable. Reliably unfunny, that is.
8.08
2008's best bits. What, no 'Lily Allen and Friends'?
8.10
Philip Glenister: presumably not nominated for his role in ITV's Demons, here to present the award for best drama series. The smart money's on Wallander.
8.12
And the winner is... Wallander. Well-deserved, I reckon - the best and bleakest Scandinavian cop drama starring Kenneth Branagh that I've ever seen. Probably.
8.16
Adrian Chiles: quite literally never off the telly. And the Bafta for best factual series goes to Amazon with Bruce Parry. Real-life action man Ross Kemp was robbed. I wish someone would stick Phil Mitchell in a war zone with nothing but a flak jacket and tin helmet for protection.
8.22
TV Burp gets the biggest laugh of the night so far, but is pipped to the best entertainment programme gong by the ever-worsening X Factor, a show now comprised entirely of sob stories, with about 12 seconds of 'music' thrown in for good measure. I can't even remember who won it last year. Answers on a postcard please.
8.25
A TV genre so far from my heart it may as well not exist: sport. Even Gary Lineker looks bored. And the winner is... ITV's F1 Brazilian Grand Prix coverage. Yawn.
8.29
I've just noticed Graham Norton's jacket. Insane.
8.32
Best continuing drama (i.e. soap). What, no Coronation Street? Is there some sort of conspiracy going on here?
8.33
Best continuing drama: The Bill. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Have the telly Baftas finally jumped the shark? Leave your comments below...
8.35
News coverage award now. I don't watch the news anymore. Far too depressing. Blah blah, we're all going to be trading with magic beans this time next year, blah blah blah.
8.37
It goes to News At Ten for their coverage of the Chinese earthquake. World's most tedious man makes world's most tedious speech.
8.40
"The nation's favourite music presenter?" Jools Holland? Speak for yourself, Norton. Jools is presenting best entertainment performance.
8.43
The nation's second favourite TV commentator, Harry Hill, scoops the award for best entertainment performance. And his speech gets the second biggest laugh of the night. By rights he should be presenting this whole show.
8.47
A surprise win for White Girl in the best single drama category. My money was on Hancock and Joan. Another tenner down the drain then. I though he said he was going to keep his speech short.
8.50
The state of British comedy today. Genuinely appalling. Oh for pity's sake: Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse have actually won. Next they'll be telling us they're giving the Academy Fellowship to Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders...
8.55
Jon Snow gets through his introduction to the specialist factual series showreel without fluffing a single line. Or wearing a silly tie. Will wonders never cease? A token win for David Attenborough's Life In Cold Blood. Proof, if proof were needed, that we'll never tire of watching footage of turtles having sex.
9.06
The post-9pm slump, and the catchily named 'features' category is won by The Choir: Boys Don't Sing. The award is collected by a chap who looks like he wants to be David Tennant when he grows up.
9.09
Potty humour from 'rising comedian' Michael McIntyre ("Hands up if you want to pee"). Not funny, not funny at all.
9.12
Best situation comedy: The IT Crowd. Somebody's having a laugh. But not, presumably, anyone who's ever actually watched it.
9.14
Last year's best actor winner, Andrew Garfield, to present the drama serial award. Expect to see him back next year to pick up a gong for Channel 4's Red Riding trilogy: officially the best thing on telly so far in 2009. FACT. And the Bafta goes to BBC1's Criminal Justice which was, admittedly, pretty good, though less fun than Charlie Brooker's Big Brother zombie-fest Dead Set.
9.19
That jacket gets more ludicrous the longer I look at it.
9.23
A very long advert for BBC drama. Clever.
9.30
The Bafta for best single documentary goes to The Chosen. To my eternal shame, I didn't see any of the four nominated programmes. Probably too busy watching Big Brother. I'm so low-brow I make Peter Andre look like Harold Pinter.
9.35
The Philips Audience Award now, the only award voted for entirely by the Great British Public. Go on, vote Wallander and do yourselves proud.
9.36
Nope, the winner is terrible teen sex-fest Skins. Presumably the only people voting were 12-year-olds who think Hollyoaks is a quality drama or grown men who've memorised the Pete Townsend defence...
9.40
The award for best comedy performance goes to the ubiquitous David Mitchell for Peep Show. He might at least have cracked a joke or two during his speech.
9.42
Jimmy Nesbitt takes the stage to present the Bafta for best actress. And completely misses the irony, presumably. This one surely goes to the wonderful Maxine Peake for Hancock and Joan...
9.43
Wrong again, it's Anna Maxwell Martin for Poppy Shakespeare. The bookies must be rubbing their hands together with glee right about now.
9.48
And the Bafta for best actor goes to... Stephen Dillane for Channel 4's The Shooting of Thomas Hurndall. Ken Stott looks suitably unimpressed. So, that's it: not a single Bafta for BBC Four's Hancock and Joan. An absolute travesty, in my humble opinion.
9.51
Final award of the night (phew) is the highest of all Bafta accolades: the Fellowship award. It goes to "the greatest female comedy double act in the history of British television": Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders. Doesn't say much for British female comedy double acts, does it?
9.53
French and Saunders. "Trailblazers"? Really, Dame Helen? "A legacy of brilliant work." What, even The Vicar of Dibley?
9.59
A standing ovation for French and Saunders (oh well, each to their own). Montage of awards the BBC couldn't be bothered to show includes Mad Men winning best international show over The Wire. I give up. All that remains is for me to thanks my editors, producers, readers, parents, and next-door-neighbour's dog. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again. Did you agree with the Bafta judges' decisions? Or, like me, do you think Hancock and Joan was robbed. Leave your comments below. Until next year...
By Stuart Bak, guest blogger and MSN TV columnist
Winners In Full:
Best actor - Stephen Dillane - The Shooting of Thomas Hurndall (Channel 4)
Best actress - Anna Maxwell Martin - Poppy Shakespeare (Channel 4)
Best entertainment performance - Harry Hill - Harry Hill's TV Burp (ITV1)
Best comedy performance - David Mitchell - Peep Show (Channel 4)
Best single drama - White Girl (BBC Two)
Best drama serial - Criminal Justice (BBC One)
Best drama series - Wallander (BBC One)
Best continuing drama - The Bill (ITV1)
Best factual series - Amazon with Bruce Parry (BBC Two)
Best entertainment programme - The X Factor (ITV1)
Best situation comedy - The IT Crowd (Channel 4)
Best comedy programme - Harry and Paul (BBC One)
Best single documentary - Chosen (Channel 4)
Best feature - The Choir: Boys Don't Sing (BBC Two)
Best international show - Mad Men (BBC Four)
Best specialist factual - Life in Cold Blood (BBC One)
Best current affairs - Saving Africa's Witch Children - Dispatches (Channel 4)
Best news coverage - News at Ten - Chinese Earthquake (ITV1)
Best sport - ITV1 F1: Brazilian Grand Prix (ITV1)
Best interactivity - Embarrassing Bodies Online (Channel 4)
Audience award - Skins
Special Award - Jane Tranter
Bafta Fellowship - French and Saunders 4月21日  TV guilty pleasures. Where would we be without them? Sure, I'm a huge fan of the critically-acclaimed The Wire (currently getting its first terrestrial airing on BBC2) and to this day, I will still watch Upstairs Downstairs and Brideshead Revisited whenever they're on ITV3 and I can't tell you how many period dramas are in my private collection. Convinced of my highbrow TV viewing? OK, I have to admit that I am also a shameless junk TV addict (within reason). I know I shouldn't. I know it's not good for me. But sometimes, dammit, I just can't help myself. Katie Price and Peter Andre's ITV2 reality shows have long been my TV equivalent of a Big Mac (OK, truth is, the only fast food I find palatable is a fillet of fish from Maccy Ds, but the analogy works better with the Big Mac). Thus, when I received an invitation to interview the couple, I jumped at it. I've watched just about all of the Katie and Peter series. Conversely, until the diagnosis of her cancer, I never really bothered with any of Jade Goody's various reality shows for Living. I'm not sure why the former continue to hold my interest; I'm reluctant to analyse the reasons in case I discover something about myself I'd rather not know. Instead, I shall tell myself it's because their romance bloomed in the best edition of I'm A Celebrity to date. Besides, if they're not the ultimate reality TV couple, who is? So despite some of the disgusting things that come out of Katie Price's mouth, my family and I regularly tune in to the latest shenanigans involving her brood.
The press launch for their latest instalment, Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter Stateside took place at a swanky hotel in London's Soho. Alongside other members of the press, I was there to watch the first episode and interrogate the duo afterwards (for five minutes of their precious time only). In the new series, Katie and Peter move their entire family to the US so that Peter can record an album, the main reason for the move. Katie, viewers are reassured, will still have a full diary too. We were wined and dined (the fried chicken was excellent) before taking our seats for the screening. Katie and Peter watched the first episode with us (apparently, they see the finished product as it airs on ITV2), commenting on aspects of the programme throughout.
A couple of times, we heard Katie exclaim: "My lips look dreadful!" - unfortunately, I have to agree with her. Her lips look like they're made of Plasticine. Never mind Katie, at least your eyes look good. For all you fans out there, you'll be pleased to hear that The Next Chapter Stateside has the usual ingredients: the bickering, the making up, the bling, the shopping, the brutally frank sex talk (Katie - of course. She's got a mouth like a Victorian sewer) and the kids: Harvey (Katie's son with biological father, footballer Dwight Yorke), Junior and Princess.
On to the interview and both are smaller and more orange in person than on the screen. However I will say here and now that Peter Andre is one of the nicest people it has ever been my pleasure to meet. He obviously loves his wife very much, even if she does drive him nuts at times. Despite being jet-lagged and having to endure a hectic day of promotional activity, they were both on good form - especially Peter. I hope his album is well-received. In the meantime, you can watch my (edited!) interview here. I had asked a question about Jade's funeral but their rottweiler of a manager Claire Powell was straight in there: "Can't talk about that!" she barked. I tell you what, she's fearsome; she'd make yer average ASBO hoodie pee his pants.
Today I am mostly lovin' - The soundtrack to Ashes To Ashes. I'm loving that more than the show itself. Spandau Ballet, The Fun Boy Three, Adam & The Ants, Haircut 100, The Human League... Now that's what I call pop music. Memories! I tell you what, it's making me feel old. I even found myself saying: "In my day..." to my niece while it was on.
Today I am also lovin' - The DVD release of Columbo Season 9. Who can resist the shabbily-dressed and seemingly slow-witted, homicide detective brilliantly played by Peter Falk? Get your copy here
Today I am mostly hatin' - House moves over to Sky1. Inevitable really. I'm just a bit sad that it never found the audience it deserved on terrestrial TV. It's such a great show.
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4月9日
Guest Blogger JJ Benson here reporting back on what was probably the coolest night of my year so far! Andy (my friend and camera man for the evening) and I got to meet and chat with the cast of Red Dwarf, one of our favourite TV shows. We were in a central London location for the brilliant press launch of the new three-part series. It will air on Dave this Easter; fans will be treated to the first batch of new episodes in 10 years. Red Dwarf: Back To Earth reunites human Dave Lister (Craig Charles), hologram Arnold Rimmer (Chris Barrie), feline evolved Cat (Danny John-Jules) and sanitation mechanoid Kryten (Robert Llewellyn).
If you don't know your holoships from your Talkie Toasters, here's a refresher of the series: it was about the hapless crew of the mining spaceship Red Dwarf. Set three million years in the future, it focussed on their attempts to return to Earth. It's impossible to sum up years of craziness in a couple of sentences, but if you can catch any of the old episodes, you just might see why people were, and remain, obsessed with this show. In the Dave episodes, the remaining crew finally discover a way to return to Earth. However in true Dwarf fashion things don't exactly go to plan.
The new episodes are written and directed by co-creator Doug Naylor. The show first aired on BBC2 back in February 1988, but took a three-year hiatus between series six and seven. Now let's cut to the chase: is Red Dwarf: Return To Earth any good? Answer: Yes! I enjoyed it and felt that it worked within the world of Red Dwarf, though it is remarkably different. As Doug Naylor told us, they were pushing up the levels of quality in this one with better sets, camera technology and CGI. And it did look a lot better than those wobbly sets from the early days (although that kind of added to its charm).
The series really is more of a film and deserves to be seen in one sitting. Luckily, we got to view it in one unadulterated showing, but for those watching it on TV, it will be broken up into pieces and that may spoil the experience.
This was pretty much a big celebration and the night lived up to the hype with loads of press and stars mingling together. Everyone associated with this programme are just fantastic. They made time to talk to us (we even had a chat with Doug Naylor's wife!) and - a real highlight for me - we ate duck rolls with Terry Pratchett. What a legend!
OK, I have to go to bed now as I have just got in from the after-party. The Red Dwarf team are right up there for the award of nicest people in the world - the only downside was that Craig Charles, who plays Dave Lister, was not there. He was busy filming Coronation Street but he did record a message for us all. We filmed the event for MSN so check back here for our video and you can get a flavour of a really memorable night.
Guest Bloggers JJ & Andy
Red Dwarf: Back To Earth airs on Dave - Friday April 10 at 9pm, Saturday April 11 at 9pm, Sunday April 12 at 9pm
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4月1日
I'm an adult who still loves watching classic Sesame Street; yet I feel way too old for Hollyoaks. I laugh 'til I cry at Fred Quimby-produced Tom and Jerry, but every single cartoon on kids channel Jetix leaves me cold. I'm at an age where my mum was enjoying Murder She Wrote the first time around and, years later, I still feel too young for the repeats on Alibi. I mention this because I was invited to the press launch for the second series of E4's The Inbetweeners, and found myself... well ... inbetween The Inbetweeners, as it were; I didn't love it. But I didn't hate it either.
Somehow I missed this the first time around (where was I?) and wondered if it would live up to all the hype and assurances from colleagues that it was funnier than a Westlife video. To some extent, it did. Kinda. We were treated to the first two episodes of the second series. It's no exaggeration to say that the loudest guffaws were from the men. I'm told by blokes in this office that The Inbetweeners, far more so than Skins, is a hilarious reminder of their own awkward, embarrassing school days. Clearly it has tapped into a common shared experience: desperation. If Smell-O-Vision worked on the small screen, The Inbetweeners would give off sweaty armpits, sweaty feet, sweaty hands, Lynx and funky underwear.
For the uninitiated, this is a comedy about four teenagers growing up in suburbia. It's a world of constant attempts to fit in and constant attempts to lose one's virginity. A world of futile crushes, sibling brawls, getting drunk too quickly, fancying the girl next door, casting aspersions on the sexuality of yer mates and raging hormones. Unlike Skins, the cast are more than a few years older than the gormless teens they're portraying.
Simon Bird plays Will, a boy whose parents have divorced so he has unwillingly moved and changed schools. Previously at a private school, he has taken his snobbish tendencies to the local comprehensive. His new set of friends are: Simon (Joe Thomas), who is hopelessly besotted with Carli D'Amato (Emily Head); Jay (James Buckley), forever boasting about sexual conquests that are just a little too far-fetched to believe and finally there's Neil (Blake Harrison) - if he had a brain cell, the strain would probably kill him. And that's putting it mildly. He's easy-going, naive and his dad is definitely not gay... apparently.
Voted the Best New British Television Comedy at the 2008 British Comedy Awards, Thursday's opener sees the lads endure a sociology and geography field trip to Swanage in the hope of finding the legendary Swanage MILF (mum I'd like to... feel, shall we say). The following episode centres around work experience week (remember that, peeps?). There'll also be an instalment in which Will, Neil and the lads try to assert their maturity on a clubbing trip to London. That's just for starters.
Think an amalgam of an X-rated version of Grange Hill, the Carry On series, the Confessions films starring 70s has-been Robin Askwith, Viz and the likes of Animal House, Porkys and American Pie and you've got the idea of The Inbetweeners. There are jokes about a paedophilic teacher ("He rubbed my legs!" "Well that's what you get for leading on paedos, you slut!"), nympho schoolgirls and, at the drop of a hat, an endless stream of penis gags ("That's a bit flimsy." "Well I tell you something that won't be flimsy - my c**k!"). Of course it's utterly puerile and cringy and there's nothing here that seasoned viewers haven't seen before (socks on c**ks? Pah, even the Chili Peppers have done that).
However, in an era when TV teens are impossibly beautiful, impossibly thin, impossibly spot-free (wot, no acne?) and impossibly good at sex (yeah, right) - it's good to see a group of youngsters that are impossibly clueless. The über-coolness of Skins and 90210 attracts the real teens out there precisely because they're both so unrealistic (how many UK school riots have you read about? Since when have high performance sports cars been driven to school by yer average Brit kid?).
The Inbetweeners is for those that safely made it out of that awkward phase. We (especially men) can point and chuckle at the sexual bravado and the sexual inadequacy because we're a safe distance from it all now (or so we like to think). No way will a real 16-year-old find that stuff a laughing matter - not when they're living it. However, I was also 16 once. Back then, most of the 16-year-old boys I came across (usually on the bus as I went to an all-girls school) were juvenile and immature with a vocabulary limited to "'Ere, my mate fancies you!" Twenty years or so later and, thanks to The Inbetweeners, it was ever thus.
Today I am mostly lovin' - The Wire, daily on BBC2. I'm loving the fact that it's stripped daily. That's what I call appointment-to-view television.
Today I am mostly hatin' - The inconsistency with butchering... sorry... editing evening primetime shows that are screened in daytime drives me mad. I watched Two and A Half Men on the Paramount Comedy Channel (soon to be renamed Comedy Central) and the word 'ass' was edited out. Yet the word 'b*st*rd' was left in the episode of Frasier that followed. What the heck is that all about?
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