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May 19 Little Britain Star's Got Talent
However I'm convinced that years from now, we'll look back on the entire Susan Boyle phenomenon and ask ourselves, how did that happen? It's not the first time people have happily clambered on the wave of a phenomenon and ridden it for all its worth. I've been there: I wore tight zip-leg stonewashed jeans in the 80s; I thought about nicking a VW badge off a car; I bought my sister a Cabbage Patch Doll; I answered my phone with 'waaasssssssup!' in the early noughties. But this Susan Boyle thing has totally passed me by. I'm watching it all with both amazement and bemusement. Her Britain's Got Talent audition (I Dreamed A Dream from the musical Les Misèrables) is now one of YouTube's most popular videos ever. She has been featured on American news networks (no mean feat as our cousins over the sea rarely report on anything or anyone that doesn't directly affect them, aside from conflicts in the Middle East); US talkshow host Jay Leno has paid tribute to her by donning a wig and performing on his show; her celebrity fans include Demi Moore, her husband Ashton Kutcher and Jon Bon Jovi; she's been on Larry King Live and Oprah and an American fan has even made a Susan Boyle doll for sale... I kid you not. Robbie Williams tried to crack America for years with no luck. But a 48-year-old virgin goes on a British talent show and easily trumps him. She is a bona fide global phenomenon. For now. Then again, so were A Flock of Seagulls and l never remember that I've forgotten them until E-Friends repeats the flashback episode with Chandler sporting a Flock of Seagulls haircut (The One With All The Thanksgivings). What next for Susan Boyle? Maybe she'll do us all a favour and stand for Parliament. MSN's Britain's Got Talent special: fun features and galleries What's our blogger saying about Britain's Got Talent? Find out here Today I am mostly lovin' - Question Time. No less than 3.8 million viewers tuned in between 10.40pm and 11.40pm last Thursday to watch the audience vent their anger over the issue of expenses and our greedy, grasping, grubby MPs. It was splendid viewing - loved watching Labour's Margaret Beckett, Tory Theresa May and the Lib Dems' Sir Menzies Cambell squirm. Give 'em hell if you're in the audience this Thursday. As Citizen Smith memorably proclaimed: "Power to the people!" Today I am mostly hatin' - Those Vodaphone 'If I Ruled The World' adverts are doing my head in. MSN Editor Coops Share It
May 07 Apprentice Star's Interview No-show Followers of this blog may be aware that, personally, my favourite reality show is The Apprentice. So far, I've conducted interviews with all of the fired Apprentice candidates. During which, I got Anita Shah to admit to "a natural frown"; Rocky Andrews to label Philip and Kate's liaison as "a bit Big Brother for me"; Majid to cite James peeing his pants as a reason he wasn't fired. In addition, there's Paula Jones calling Ben Clarke "a thug"; Kimberly Davis blasting Lorraine Tighe as "a Judas" and Noorul revealing that Ben would love to "pose naked on the cover of Heat with a rugby ball in front of his crotch." But Philip Taylor, the John Terry look-alike, is the one that got away. Having apparently exchanged bodily fluids with Nicole Appleton look-alike Kate Walsh, the profile of the one-time bookies' favourite has soared. Add that to Pants Man, the excruciatingly bad cereal marketing campaign (for a cereal called Wake Up Call? Truly pants, man), and you've got a no-show. I was informed by the PR company rep that there'd be no interview with MSN this week; very little information was forthcoming. Hence, I've deduced the following - either the geezer playing tonsil-tennis with hard-nosed blonde Kate couldn't face dealing with pants questions or he's hooked up with some kind of tabloid/celeb rag exclusive. From the moment he did that stooooooooopid Pants Man dance in the pitch, I was desperate to get my hands on him (figuratively speaking, of course). Bah humbug! What a great way of avoiding awkward, sticky questions too...or is it? Y'see, I thought I'd have a little fun imagining how the Pants Man himself might've responded had I been able to interview him. Fake Apprentice Interview
Me: Pants Man, what's it gonna take to get you to admit that Pants Man was a rubbish idea?
Pants Man: I still think it's the iPod of cereal marketing.
Me: On The Apprentice, you came across as an extremely modest, unassuming and self-deprecating guy...
Pants Man: Well, that's because I'm a good-looking lad. I can sell better than Lorraine, I've got a better body than Lorraine, I dress better than her and I've got thinner eyebrows too. Have you seen them things on her? She could sweep the streets with 'em.
Me: You don't think much of Lorraine, did you?
Pants Man: What's given you that idea, like?
Me: In the boardroom, you seemed convinced that Sir Alan Sugar had it in for you.
Pants Man: Call it an instinct. That's what Lorraine would say anyway.
Me: Can you give us a blast of the Pants Man song again?
Pants Man: Watch this go top of the pops: "At the start of the day, everybody knows, without your Wake Up Call you put your pants over your clothes! So before you put your pants on and get out of your bed, eat a bowl of Wake Up Call and let the pants between your head. It has apples, bananas, cranberries too; an ABC of fruits we have selected just for you! Memory focus and energy hooray! Eat a bowl of Wake Up Call and put your pants on the right waaaaaaay!" I did that in one take - even Bono couldn't do better. I'm better looking than him too.
Me: Was that a tear we saw as you exited the boardroom?
Pants Man: It wasn't a tear. It was a manly tear. The kind footballers do. Ask John Terry about manly tears.
Me: Finally, do you still think you were the right man for the Apprentice job?
Pants Man: Of course I do. I've got bigger balls than Lorraine - that's for sure.
Me: Thanks Pants Man, good luck. Pants Man: Thanks MSN. And don't forget, eat a bowl of Wake Up Call and put your pants on the right waaaaaaay! ____________________________________________
Today I am mostly lovin' - Chelsea 1 Barcelona 1 - nuff said.  Hello to my Spurs-supporting mate FamousEccles! Hope all's good with you and your health. I'll be answering you via e-mail soon. Today I am mostly hatin' - The axing of The South Bank Show; inevitable as Lord Bragg is departing. It's a real shame that ITV has lost one of its few treasures dedicated to the arts.
Noticeboard - Channel 4 and ChildLine have launched an online-only entertainment show – created for young people and by young people. If you'd like to get involved, you'll find more information about this here at Headspace.
MSN Editor Coops |
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