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8月28日
Yesterday I was hob-knobbing at Channel 4's Network Autumn Press Launch (fab canapés - the crab was excellent). Regular readers will know that I'm pretty hard to please, but I can tell you now - there are some fantastic programmes to look forward to.
Look out for: the return of Cutting Edge (don't miss Purity Balls - American fathers take their daughters, who have pledged to remain virgins until marriage, to said 'Purity Balls'); The Jacksons Are Coming (it's a working title and yes - it's about those Jacksons. Pop's bizarre family hit Devon); Peter Kay's first original work that he's written and starred in for four years, Britain's Got The Pop Factor...And Possibly A New Celebrity Jesus Christ Soapstar Superstar Strictly On Ice; an all-new series of Come Dine With Me in its superior daytime format; True Stories' Chosen instalment, which tells the shocking story of three men who were abused as boys in a public school; The Devil's Whore (epic story of the English Civil War featuring a strong cast); Charlie Brooker's Dead Set, a cross between 28 Days Later and Big Brother (zombies are on the warpath but the Big Brother contestants are unaware). It will feature a cameo from Davina McCall.
 Finally, The Family. All the hype centres on this new eight-part observational documentary series airing on Channel 4 from Wednesday September 17.
The Hughes family, from Canterbury in Kent, agreed to be filmed around the clock; the highs and lows of every aspect of their family life will be on display. There's dad Simon, mum Jane, daughters Jessica, Emily, Charlotte and son Tom. Simon, 44, describes his role as "cook, taxi, painter and decorator, encourager, the default person to ask anything, provider, giver of cuddles and the one who has to pretend to be in charge." His wife of 22 years is 40-year-old Jane who works for a charity. Jane defines her responsibilities as "peacekeeper, general dogsbody and keeper of all knowledge of where people have to be and where their belongings are."
A frequent visitor to the house is eldest daughter and stay-at-home mum Jessica, 22, who lives nearby with her fiancé Pat Lee and their 10-month-old daughter Ruby.
Headstrong rebel Emily, 19, sees herself as the family troublemaker and party animal. She works in sales and cites her mum as her biggest inspiration. Youngest daughter Charlotte, 17, is still at school. Fourteen-year-old Tom completes the Hughes clan and cites his biggest inspiration as Batman.
Back in 1974, the BBC originated this format when they followed the Wilkins clan from Reading. Revelations of affairs, illegitimacy, inter-racial dating, pre-marital sex etc shocked the living daylights out of the watching public of the day. It also propelled the Wilkins' to celebrity status so the Hughes have a hard act to follow. One wonders what they'll offer a nation accustomed now to daily familial trials and tribulations, in all its ugliness, on The Jeremy Kyle show. Channel 4's press release talks of arguments over bedtimes and curfews, stressful wedding plans and work issues...so far, so familiar. And if The Family flops, that will be the reason why. In short, it's nothing new now.
Today I am mostly lovin' - Who Do You Think You Are? is superb viewing. With the right person at the helm, it can also be extremely moving. Jerry Springer's instalment was deeply affecting.
Today I am mostly hatin' - The Clearasil 'may cause confidence' adverts get on my last nerve.
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8月26日
They're dancing; they're stuck in a house; they're cooking; they're in a jungle; they're on a farm; they're wrestling; they're cutting hair; they're singing...is there anything left for zelebrities to do? Actually yes. ITV2 scratched around and found something...Celeb Air. This reality show will follow a group of - excuse my French - celebrities as they take on a variety of roles associated with being airline employees. Hear that? No? Well slant your head slightly....it's the sound of a barrel being scraped.
So who signed up? Well there's Neighbours actor Dan O'Connor. Heard of him? He was an Australian Idol winner and he plays Ned Parker in Neighbours. Ring a bell? No? Well, don't worry. He's hardly Jason Donovan. Then there's X Factor star Chico Slimani. My mum doesn't remember who won X Factor 2007, but she remembers Chico. And get this, he's arguably one of Zeleb Air's bigger stars.
Ex-Blazin' Squad member Kenzie is also taking part. Big Brother fans will recall his appearance in the third instalment of the Celebrity edition. However, I'm into rap so I knew him first as part of Blazin' Squad - the UK rappers that murdered Bone Thugs-n-Harmony classic Tha Crossroads. In addition there's American-born Brit Amy Lame (she's a radio/TV presenter), former Hear'say has-been member Johnny Shentall, ex-Steps star and fame desperado Lisa Scott-Lee, fab singer but lousy fashion adviser Mica Paris, haggard former It Girl and socialite Tamara Beckwith, glamour model Michelle Marsh (who?), comedian Phil Cornwell and finally - So Solid Crew's main female performer Lisa Maffia. Well, if MC Harvey and Asher D (now familiar as acclaimed actor Ashley Walters) can make the move away from So Solid, so can Lisa - but why this show Lisa? WHY?!
Yes, OK - it's ITV2 and yes it hasn't aired yet. But come on! Even for a reality show - this sounds really daft. What I find especially irksome is that ITV found room in their schedule for this inane pap, but not for Redgrave's Raw Recruits. For the  unaware, five times Olympic gold medallist Sir Steve Redgrave attempted to turn a squad of inner city Liverpool youngsters into top class rowers. They became known as the 'Liverpool 8' and their story formed part of a truly inspirational documentary. The search for recruits began way back in 2005 and included the shiftless, the aimless and the severely disadvantaged (one youth was the son of a heroin addict and he himself was facing prison).
The programme should've aired in 2006 but it finally premiered this summer. Two years later. One theory advanced for the disgraceful delay centres around the lads' failure - by three seconds - to qualify for the Henley Royal Regatta. Maybe ITV wanted the Rocky II ending and the underdog finally winning. Who knows? However, in a summer where Britannia ruled the waves at the Beijing Olympics, ITV missed the boat shoving this onto ITV4 instead of giving it pride of place on ITV1. It's flogging primetime flops that nobody wants to watch - the likes of Harley Street and yawn-inducing Trinny and Susannah tripe - but Redgrave's Raw Recruits got such a raw deal. Shame on them.
Today I am mostly lovin' - The BBC's Olympic coverage was fantastic and Adrian Chiles was on top form, I thought.
Today I am mostly hatin' - Omigod. That London Olympic Handover party on BBC1 was beyond cringy. McFly slaughtering Abba? Scouting For Girls mullering The Clash? Sophie Ellis-Bextor sounding like a cat being run over as she warbled The Spy Who Loved Me? Claudia Winkleman insisting (every handover) that it was all 'fantastic'? An embarrassment.
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8月18日
"Makin' up a mess of fun, lots of fun for everyone!
Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la! Tra-la-la, la-la-la-la!" You'll be singing it if you remember it. Anyone who's heard it will never forget the infectious theme tune to children's TV classic The Banana Splits. The gang, Snorky (a baby elephant), Bingo (a gorilla), Drooper (a lion) and Fleegle (a dog), are getting a modern makeover and will become the latest TV show to make a comeback. They'll be starring in new comedy sketches, shorts and music videos on the Cartoon Network from September.
 The Banana Splits debuted in America in 1968 and ran until 1970. Anarchic, fast paced and extremely 'groovy', here in the UK, they were seen on the BBC in the 1970s and Channel 4 as part of the Big Breakfast.
The series was originally produced by Hanna-Barbera - the prolific company behind the likes of Top Cat, The Flintstones and Scooby-Doo. Jordan Sollitto, of Warner Bros said: "Everything that made The Banana Splits popular in the '60s is back, including the group's terrific humour and music. We take great pride in having carefully updated the look and feel of the original show for today's kids while retaining all of the elements that made the original Banana Splits such a hit."
Stuart Snyder, president of Turner Animation, Young Adults and Kids Media, added: "The Banana Splits is a classic that has been entertaining kids for years. We're thrilled to have this new version on Cartoon Network for our kids to enjoy today."
One banana, two banana, three banana, four...they're back! And at this rate, who knows what other kids classics from yesteryear will make a reappearance? We've already had the likes of Swap Shop, Emu, Basil Brush, Rainbow and The Magic Roundabout. It wouldn't surprise me if the soon-to-be-axed Grange Hill made a comeback in a year or two. Flippin' 'eck Tucker! In the meantime, get a flavour of The Banana Splits with an incredible piece of video containing the original intro....
Today I am mostly lovin' - The TV show Redgrave's Raw Recruits. If you missed it, I'm not surprised. It was shunted onto ITV4 - disgraceful treatment for such an inspiring programme. I shall speak more on this in a later blog entry.
Today I am mostly hatin' - She may be a Dame and an Olympic legend, but Kelly Holmes can NOT read an autocue! Her advert for Kellogg's is painful to watch.
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8月13日
Firstly, apologies. I've been busy with Big Brother and The X Factor so I have posted to my blog for a few days. Regular readers will know that I'm rather partial to TV programmes of yesteryear. In addition to checking out the likes of The Professionals, The Sweeney, Minder, Dempsey & Makepeace and more on ITV3 and ITV4, I've been watching 70s sitcom On The Buses. I've even found myself laughing a couple of times. Yes, it's cheap, vulgar and misogynistic but its saucy seaside postcard humour is almost refreshing in these politically correct noughties days. Besides, it's sooooo British, it should be sponsored by an old school greasy spoon. Nothing remotely American or American-influenced here.
 First things first, it hasn't dated well. It was aging even as it was broadcast during its original 1969-1973 run. But it's hard to dislike bus driver Stan Butler (played by the 50ish Reg Varney - yes that's right - 50ish!). Stan is characterised by his horniness: desperate for the mini-skirted, busty, nubile women working in the depot (who always fancy him for some bizarre reason), it's not unusual to find him clocking off and keeping the passengers waiting while he has a bit of 'ow's yer father' with the chosen wench. The series made Reg Varney an unlikely sex symbol - only in this country could a man like Reg become an object of desire.
Makes yer proud to be British, doesn't it? Sod the PC/Health & Safety crowd; hoist yer Union Jack and cue the national anthem for dirty old Stan Butler!
Stan's best mate is his conductor, a right jack-the-lad (called Jack, funnily enough) with a hugely infectious laugh who says "Cor blimey" more times than Jodie Marsh has been Tangoed. Our horny bus driver lives with his bingo-obsessed mum who loves him to death. In the same house resides plain sister Olive and her layabout, sponging husband Ar'fur. One character who must be mentioned is long-suffering bus Inspector 'Blakey' Blake; Stan and Jack delighted in making his life a misery, prompting weekly lip-quivering exclamations of "I'll get you Butler!" and "I 'ate you, Butler!"
I think the very absurdity of On The Buses is what tickles me the most. The humour is extremely obvious - don't expect Oscar-winning scripts if you tune in. What's more, the very idea of two middle-aged skirt-chasers (one with teeth Austin Powers would envy) bagging the kind of women most men their age can't even dream of is hilarious in itself. On The Buses will never make a list of the best sitcoms we've ever made. However, thanks to its timeless comedy creations, it's far from being the most minging. I've listed the likes of 'Orrible and Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps in my gallery of the UK's Worst Sitcoms. Feel free to nominate your choices.
Today I am mostly lovin' - The Olympics. It truly is the greatest show on Earth. I just love the idealism of it all. Am I the only person whose favourite bit is the Parade Of Nations?
Today I am mostly hatin' - The Sky v Virgin Media debacle. We customers have been without Sky News and Sky One for long enough.
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8月5日
Now that the heat's cooled off somewhat, I thought I'd take a look at the furore over June's Heinz Deli Mayo advert. First things first, it fell foul of Ofcom's guidelines relating to products that are high in fat, salt and sugar. As a result, it had an 'ex-kids' restriction meaning that it couldn't be shown in or around children's programming.
The advert's setting is an average family doing their morning routine; the boy and girl are getting ready for school, dad's preparing for a hard day at the office and 'mom' is Robert De Niro apparently. The boy and girl get their sandwiches (made with the Heinz Deli Mayo) from 'mom' - a man with a 'Noo Yoik' accent dressed in a deli serving outfit. The father takes his sandwich and says "See you tonight love" to 'mom'. However, 'mom' growls back: "Hey! Ain't ya forgettin' somethin'?"
At this point, you'd be forgiven for thinking dad's forgotten the shovel and box of limes for Tony Soprano. But it ain't dat. He was gonna go without kissing 'mom' goodbye; naughty, naughty! So dad kisses 'mom' and is sent off to work with the words: "Love you. Straight home from work, sweet cheeks." That's the end. Heinz rake in gazillions from their product and everybody's happy. Or at least, that's what should've happened.
Instead, cue hundreds of complaints to Ofcom from outraged viewers. The objectors deemed the kiss shared by the two male actors 'offensive', 'inappropriate' and 'unsuitable for children' (despite the fact that the ad had an 'ex-kids' restriction). Some parents were also unhappy, they said, about having to explain same-sex relationships to their kids. Cue hasty Heinz backtrack and the advert was pulled. Heinz said: "...some consumers raised concerns over the content of the ad and this prompted our decision to withdraw it. The advertisement, part of a short-run campaign, was intended to be humorous and we apologise to anyone who felt offended." Cue backlash from gay organisations who called for a boycott of Heinz products.
What a terrible start for Heinz's new advertising agency AMV BBDO. The premise was basically along the lines of: the product is so good, so tasty, so authentic, it's as if you have your own New York deli man in your kitchen. The campaign was supposed to last for five weeks - it ended up running for one. At the time, I recall being more offended by the family set-up than the kiss: dad's off to work while 'mom' is in the kitchen making sandwiches...what is this, the 1950s? But perhaps the concept of parodying the traditional view of family in order to sell a product to Brits that supposedly evokes New York went over complainants' heads. They saw two men kissing; I saw a muddled concept.
The real irony is that these adverts were sandwiched (did ya see what I did there?) between the likes of Emmerdale and Coronation Street: two soaps with gay characters who've shared full-on kisses watched by millions of adults and adolescents. As the Yanks say: go figure.
 Footballers hug and kiss all the time with nary a conseqence to face. Male heterosexual footy fans think nothing of planting big sloppy wet ones on each other after a vital win (OK, it's usually the cheeks...and by that I mean the ones on the face...but you get my drift). How does this differ from the Heinz Deli Mayo advert? I'd love to hear your views - did you like the advert? Were you indifferent? Or did it offend you? Watch it below and let me know your thoughts.....
Today I am mostly lovin' - Coronation Street's Blanche Hunt has had me in tears of laughter recently. Her belief that Ken Barlow - the squarest man in the land of soaps - is gay is TV gold.
Today I am mostly hatin' - Joss Stone is apparently joining the cast of The Tudors. If I was watching (and I'm not), I would definitely switch off.
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