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September 24 Leave Tom and Jerry Alone!Years ago, I watched Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney in a rarely seen today 1941 Busby Berkeley musical called Babes On Broadway. As always, they were kids putting on a show. The big finale is a minstrel number with the two stars singing in blackface. I remember two things: how strange they both looked blacked up like that and how much I enjoyed Judy Garland's rendition of Waiting For The Robert. E. Lee (for years I thought it was called 'See Dem Shufflin' Along'). I didn't think about that film again until years later in 2000 when I reviewed Spike Lee's Bamboozled.
As far as I'm concerned, there's only one reason to see Spike's somewhat muddled film: the thought-provoking, disturbing montage right at the end. It features the worst stereotypes of black people from movies, TV shows and cartoons: bug-eyed, big lipped, ants-in-pants, nappy-haired, watermelon-eating, cannibalistic savages who shuffled, sang, jived and danced. These images were taken from Hollywood classics such as The Birth Of A Nation, The Jazz Singer, Gone With The Wind etc. and also Ub Iwerks' cartoon Little Black Sambo, Walter Lantz's cartoon Scrub Me Mama With A Boogie Beat, the Merrie Melodies short All This And Rabbit Stew (featuring Bugs Bunny) and Tom and Jerry, among others.
I mentioned in one of my previous entries that I have no plans to dispose of my VHS Tom and Jerry cartoons due to the fact that the DVD releases have fallen victim to political correctness: they're cut to shreds. No blackface, no blatant ethnic stereotyping, no original voice for Mammy Two Shoes (the female black character famous for shouting "Taaaaaaaaaaamas!"). This much-loved character has been de-Mammy-fied courtesy of a new voice and correct grammar ("This" instead of "Dis" etc). Soon, there'll be no cartoon characters smoking either. When America's Supreme Court declared racism unconstitutional in 1954, the studios were under pressure - this explains the Tom and Jerry cartoons of the mid 1950s featuring the pair living with a white woman/couple rather than Mammy Two Shoes. In addition, it accounts for why fans may come across two versions of the same cartoon: the 1940s Fred Quimby-produced shorts with Mammy Two Shoes and an exact copy made without her by Chuck Jones' team in the 1950s. Carelessness led to instances of anomalies: my Chuck Jones version of Saturday Evening Puss, for example, has the white character with the black southern Mammy Two Shoes voice originally provided by Lillian Randolph.
Today, measures are even more stringent and only dubbed/edited versions of cartoon greats can be seen on kids channels such as The Cartoon Network and Boomerang. Fair enough - the audience is made up of kids. However, my blood boils whenever I contemplate the hatchet job that is Tom and Jerry on DVD. I have spent years searching for the original version of Saturday Evening Puss (now only available for view on a certain video sharing site) to no avail. And yet, when the Looney Tunes collection got a DVD release, the cartoons were uncut. Whoopi Goldberg provided an introduction to the set explaining why some of the ethnic gags are no longer appropriate. She also correctly states that removing them would falsify both the history of animation and also, American culture. The mind boggles as to why Tom and Jerry didn't receive similar treatment.
While I am prepared to watch black people bug eyes, shuffle and chow down on watermelons etc whenever I watch movies from a certain period of time, I vehemently object to doing so in these supposedly enlightened days. That's why I was one of the thousands who complained to the Advertising Standards Authority about Cadbury Schweppes' Trident chewing gum advert. I'm talking about the one featuring a black minstrel-like character's faux-Caribbean accented cry of "Mastication for de nation!" Insensitive in the extreme, it was rightly axed.
However, ask me if I want Gone With The Wind or Imitation Of Life (the 1934 version) butchered. Ask me if cartoons like Tex Avery's Uncle Tom's Bungalow and Fritz Freleng's Jungle Jitters should be banned forever. My answer is an emphatic 'no'. Unpleasant as they undoubtedly are, these Hollywood stereotypes (largely by white and Jewish Americans) must be viewed within the context of their era. I wouldn't expect a child to understand that - but I'd certainly expect an adult to. So Ted Turner et al, give us the choice and give us back our cartoons in their original condition on DVD. In the words of Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: you know it makes sense.
Today I am mostly lovin' - Marcool for writing in and putting me out of my misery. The song used on the Sure Biorhythm advert is My Life by Elmo. Cheers mate!
Today I am mostly hatin' - I'm an Arsenal fan; we're top of the table, Spurs are in the bottom three, Moaninho has gone - what's to hate aside from the fact that the season can't end right now?
MSN Editor Coops September 17 Hugh Laurie Wuz Robbed
But long before viewers get a chance to slate so-and-so's dress, E! had their interminable, and interminably vacuous, Countdown To The Red Carpet show. To be clear, this isn't Live From The Red Carpet where celebs are interviewed as they arrive. It's the utterly pointless show that precedes it. And, as there are no celebs to harass and ask stupid questions (such as, "How do you stay so thin?"), it's all about conjecture: what will this person be wearing? Who will they arrive with? Who will win an Emmy? How will they style their hair? Who will they thank in their acceptance speech? Only in America... All that time to fill, so little content to fill it with. That's why viewers are subjected, ad infinitum, to something like this: Queer Eye For The Straight Guy's Carson Kressley in a white tux (he looked like he was going to his school prom) pontificating about various make-up/shoes/accessories etc the stars will probably wear. It all got terribly QVC when he demonstrated some of the products on one of the presenters (not sure why, but he was very nervous throughout the telecast). Then there's a cut to another correspondent who tells her fellow correspondent that she looks "lovely". The fellow correspondent reciprocates - and this is repeated throughout the broadcast whenever they hand over to someone else ("Over to you Sal. And may I say how lovely you're looking?"). There's some inane chatter and a small Emmy-related clip is introduced before it's back to the red carpet and Carson showing the watching millions how to apply this year's hottest eco-friendly foundation. Hour after hour of insincere perfect (straight, white) smiles, flattery, sycophancy and boundless enthusiasm - watching this pap is guaranteed to give you a newfound appreciation for Natasha Kaplinsky. And so to the ceremony itself which was hosted by Ryan Seacrest, a familiar name and face to fans of American Idol in this country. For anyone unaware of this TV/radio presenter, he's probably making plans for world domination as I speak. He's so ubiquitous, he makes Fearne Cotton seem like a fresh face. Emmys 2007 got off to a hilarious start with a song and dance number by Family Guy's Stewie and Brian in which they took the mickey out of some of primetime TV's most popular shows. It was downhill from there as, inevitably, elements of this live show just didn't work: the Shrine Auditorium's in-the-round stage ensured guests in certain seats watched the backs of Emmy recipients all night; Broadway show The Jersey Boys' tribute to The Sopranos was an embarrassment (whose terrible idea was that?) and the writer of Ryan Seacrest's opening monologue should never work again. Too many of his so-called gags were deader than Rik Waller's career. However, welcome surprises included Prime Suspect taking home a couple of gongs (including one for a stunning Helen Mirren) and Ricky Gervais winning Best Actor (Comedy) for Extras. Queen Latifah introduced the tribute to Roots which rightly received a standing ovation in its 30th anniversary year. As her speech pointed out, it redefined the idea of whose stories could be told on TV. Veteran actress Elaine Stritch lost it completely as she struggled to see the autocue during her presenting duties: "I'm not faking this. I really don't know what the hell I'm doing," she said as the attendees burst out laughing. Don't ask me how her co-presenter Stanley Tucci kept his composure, but this incident is a perfect illustration of why I watch live telecasts of awards ceremonies. Finally - the 'they wuz robbed' moan. The Sopranos left the auditorium with far fewer gongs than it deserved. Considering that this is easily one of the most influential, superbly-written (and acted) TV programmes of all time, it's a disgrace that its haul is so low (relatively speaking). In addition, Best Actor in a drama series should've gone to Hugh Laurie instead of James Spader. Or even, James Gandolfini. I love those two guys but Hugh Laurie's performance in House deserves the highest recognition his peers can bestow on him. How many American actors could come here, create a compelling anti-hero with a limp, spout all that medial speak and do it with a convincing English accent to boot? I rest my case. If Hugh Laurie doesn't win next year, I'm'o git Medieval on their ass. Today I am mostly lovin' - My beloved Arsenal. Boys, you still waste too many chances in front of goal and at times, the defending would make George Graham tear out what remains of his hair. But Spurs were taught a footballing lesson and I'm on cloud nine! Today I am mostly hatin' - The fact that I still don't know what that fab dance music track is on the Sure biorhythm advert. It sounds like Basement Jaxx. Is it? Someone put me out of my misery please! MSN Editor Coops September 10 A Trip Down VHS LaneDoes anyone remember their first VCR? I do. We rented it from Granada and it was a right clunk-click-every-trip job: no remote control, no on-screen programming, no longplay. It was a top loader too; incredibly handy for seeing how much tape was left on the videocassette (I often went down to the wire, trying to squeeze just one more episode of Cheers onto an E-180). I was devastated when top loaders were replaced by front loaders - especially the day when my luck (and the tape) finally ran out (for the record, a Cheers episode entitled Showdown, part 1). I even remember the very first thing taped: it was a Level 42 song called The Sun Goes Down (Living It Up) and it was from Channel 4's classic pop show, The Tube. Memories.
Fast forward to today and it's all about space. That's the issue. Space for a video collection started 24 years ago. Family members keep threatening to call the House Doctor's Ann Maurice or the BBC's Life Laundry show. I protest vehemently at the latter. I do not have unresolved emotional issues (often found to be at the heart of the worst examples of clutter on that programme); I just do not have enough space. In an ideal world, I'd win the lottery and buy a house big enough to devote an entire floor to home entertainment: a state of the art DVD Player, a Plasma Television, surround sound speakers etc. Unfortunately, reality bites. I have to finally confront the fact that I have hundreds of big, bulky videocassettes taking up valuable room.
Operation Tape Management will commence as follows: I will dispose of as many bought VHS tapes as possible (charity shops, here I come) with the exception of my two sets of original widescreen theatrical versions of Star Wars, my Arsenal collection, my Godfather boxset, my Tom and Jerry collection (the DVDs are cut to shreds due to political correctness. All the blackface/ethnic stereotyping/Mammy Two Shoes elements are missing and soon, the characters won't be smoking either) and finally, any VHS tapes that are either not available on DVD or are available on DVD, but not in their original form (try getting National Lampoon's Animal House on DVD with all the music featured in the theatrical release. No Wonderful World by Sam Cooke, no Theme From A Summer Place etc).
Much harder, and easily the bulk of the problem, are the cassettes with stuff taped off the telly. "Throw them out!" That's my mum's solution. Not awfully practical in these environmentally aware days. It puts me in mind of a line from the classic Talking Heads song Once In A Lifetime: "And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?" Answer: by not taping over anything I cherished and by acquiring American NTSC format tapes of US shows.
One set that will not be going is my Remington Steele collection. If only I'd taped Pierce Brosnan's early US hit off Bravo when they showed it in full back in 1997! Instead I have NTSC tapes that I cannot get rid of, or easily transfer to DVD, because they're from the original NBC run in America. And again, although the show is now available on DVD, some of the original music used isn't. Staying at Chez Coops for the exact same reason as Remington Steele is Beverly Hills 90210 (taped from Murdoch's Fox channel in the US). I've read waaaaaaaaaayyy too many negative Amazon customer reviews from fans lamenting the loss of key music on the DVDs. I hope to transfer some of my PAL collection to DVD: any tapes containing Cheers, Moonlighting, Just Good Friends, Arsenal stuff and fab music will be spared. I will have to go through every single cassette that I own - a daunting task. I really need that lottery win.
Today I am mostly lovin' - The Sopranos. Easily the best thing on TV at the moment.
Today I am mostly hatin' - My brain. It didn't immediately pick up on the fact that a picture in my Big Brother wrap party was incorrectly captioned. Luckily, I spotted the mistake 5 mins after publishing. Thank you to all the MSN users who wrote in to point this out. And yes, I did watch the show, I assure you.
 MSN Editor Coops September 04 August MailbagHello all,
And so goodbye to summer. Did it ever really begin? More rain to look forward to...cold...snow. Yuck. Anyway, the first blog entry of the new month isn't about what's coming, it's about looking back. I've perused all the feedback and mail sent in during August. Here's what you've been saying...
Big Brother 8 ended with Brian Belo crowned as winner. Our comprehensive coverage had it all - from galleries and quizzes to Kemal's video diary and opinion pieces. In one article, I argued that Big Brother Needs A Revamp. MSN user RunToTheHills disagreed: "Big Brother does not need a revamp. It needs to be cut!" A bit drastic RunToTheHills, surely? Big Brother has its detractors, however it also has a huge fanbase. OK, admittedly the past couple of series haven't been the best, but even on its bad days, I'd still take Big Brother over The X Factor.
Off the back of acclaimed American series Heroes, I compiled a list of some of the best US TV imports. I selected the likes of The Phil Silvers Show, The Sopranos, Cheers, Frasier and The Simpsons. Some MSN users insisted worthy contenders were left out. Ciam45 put in a shout for Will And Grace however, I'd argue that I was right to leave it off. A watchable sitcom, but nowhere near the likes of Cheers, Frasier or Friends. And Channel 4, the broadcaster premiering its final season, isn't even bothering to hide its derision. This sitcom has gone from Friday night prime time to a mid-week red-eye slot; on Thursday 13 September, a new episode of Will And Grace is scheduled for 12:15am. That speaks volumes...
MSN user The below is compulsory argues the case for Buffy The Vampire Slayer. "Some of the episodes were absolutely hilarious, like the musical one, and some episodes were truly touching like when Buffy's mother died. I have every season on DVD and I still laugh at every joke." I see where you're coming from The below is compulsory, unfortunately, I only had room for 20 shows and looking at my list again, the only one I'm wavering about is The A Team. However, I pity da fool who wasn't around to fully appreciate the impact when this show exploded across the world in 1983. Sometimes, often without realising, an article is penned that goes on to strike a chord with anyone who comes across it. After suffering yet another vomit-inducing instalment of The Jeremy Kyle Show, I vented my feelings in TV's Most Annoying. It sparked debate on the Talk Telly message board among a great deal of MSN users. Many felt compelled to point out the personalities they felt I'd missed: jls1973 - "I have never been one to post BUT on this topic I have such strong feelings that I was forced to put on my typing fingers. I am shocked and dismayed to see that the ever annoying Ruby wax is not featured at the very top of this list. If I even catch I glimpse of this woman I change channels. I hate that squeaky voice of hers and the way she thinks she is so 'All That' when in fact she is so 'Everything But All That.'"
pat71 - "How can you leave out Ainsley Harriott from a list of most annoying TV people?"
IOM Dave - "You seem to be missing the most irritating, unfunny 'Funny man' ever and that has to be Russell Brand."
grahame1501 - "I agree with the fatuous Fearne Cotton and the ghastly Gillian McKeith, but what about the appalling Davina McCall?"
Just a few examples. If you wish to see who gets up the nose of MSN users, check out the vastly entertaining thread here. However, there were some who felt I needed to be taken to task:
Triangulator - "In all honesty, ALL of the abovementioned television presenters put together could not possibly annoy me as much as this article has. I actually thought, after reading through Lorna's relentlessly obnoxious rants, that a significant number of people would share their disagreement in this topic. What a disappointment."
Barbs1110 - "Perhaps it's the author Lorna Cooper who is the annoying one. How rude of her to name all those people just because she has the power of the media to do so."
Triangulator and Barbs1110, I hear what you're saying. However, if people put themselves in the public eye, they must expect the eye of the public to turn on them at some point. In addition Barbs1110, I would add that thanks to the might of the internet, everyone and anyone with access to a computer has the power - not just me.
 On the other hand, there were MSN users who took it in the spirit intended. NickyNoodles wrote in to say: "What a fantastic list - made me laugh and laugh - all so true! However, the 'age' stuff about Jamie has to be the most annoying - I could take that 'green-age' and quite happily stuff it somewhere!" and me 3 sent an e-mail to say: "Brilliant article/bit in today's MSN. TV's Most Annoying - brilliant article! Had me in stitches by the end of it. I honestly could not agree more with what you said!" Glad it tickled your funny bone.
Talking of funny bone, I must mention this blog. One of my entries centred around On The Buses. Deemed a politically incorrect comedy in these oh-so-correct noughties days, its very absurdity got me chuckling a couple of times and I felt compelled to share. The final word goes to 'no name' who left the following: "ITV! Jesus what kinda of blind journalist are you! You cheap sun newspaper brainless piece of sludge! Get some awareness and stop writing like internet users are a bunch of right wing fools." Sir (or madam), how very dare you! A blind journalist brainless piece of sludge I may be, but I am not cheap!
I encourage you all to show me the error of my ways - as Dr Frasier Crane often said, I'm listening. That's it for this month as far as the mailbag is concerned; keep your comments, feedback and suggestions coming in. MSN Editor Coops |
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